• Lost love? Old hurts? Healing the pain.

  • Unrecognised beneficial side effects of healing activities.

    Typically, people come to a therapist to resolve a particular issue such as anxiety, phobia, depression, relationship and self-esteem problems or to change a behaviour such as smoking or unhealthy eating. Well trained, experienced therapists will assist such people properly towards these goals.  However, it is surprising how often unintended benefits materialise as the therapeutic process unfolds.
    Sometimes these unintended benefits turn out to be far more significant and beneficial than the resolving of the presenting problem. In some cases, the benefit is seen in a third party, not involved in therapy, but who is connected in some way to the client.
    I believe these “unintended clearings” happen because the healing environment created during good therapy creates the space and security that allow often-unacknowledged issues to come forth to be addressed.  I would also say that deeper healing environments allow more profound issues to emerge, with more beneficial results. Truly deep healing engages with the collective unconscious and can directly operate on someone not directly involved in the therapy.
    Some of these experiences emerge and resolve spontaneously, while others simply come to the surface, in which case the client can choose whether to address them or not.  Except in the case of spontaneous resolution, it is the client’s conscious choice whether or not to pursue the opportunity that arises.
    Below are just a few examples of such unexpected healings.  While the sense of these stories is accurate, they have been generalised, with details changed to anonymise them. 

  • Healing the emotional pain of relationships which have ended

    So many of us have experienced the hurt, rumination and pain that come with the ending of a good or desired relationship.  Whether through death, separation or betrayal the pain is real. Something uplifting or good has been lost.

    Equally the ending of an unhealthy, even abusive relationship may also bring pain as the hurt and sometimes love that characterised the relationship continues well beyond the relationship ending. 

    The natural grieving process means that the hold of the old relationship, whether positive or negative will diminish and you can release most if not all of the pain and think about what was in a calm, healthy and balanced way.

    However, in some cases this does not happen and the old relationship continues to hurt long after any normal grieving process would have completed.

    In the case of a positive relationship ending you may be so attached to the former love that you are unable to move on and properly commit to new people.  Where the old relationship was unhealthy or abusive you may be carrying traumas and ingrained beliefs that limit your ability to feel safe or to trust in a new relationship, thus dooming it to failure. In many cases you are dealing with a mixture of both negative and positive, suffering the ill effects of inner conflict.

    Moving out of these limiting, painful situations can be problematic.  This is because the difficulties are deeply rooted and not readily amenable to logic or routine talk therapy.

    In such cases hypnotherapy, which by definition operates at a deep or unconscious level can be very helpful.  Ritualised processes which allow you to see clearly the sometimes surprising ways in which you are tied to the old relationship, and then to cut those ties can be very effective.  Combining both approaches can be life changing.

    For many years now I have helped people free themselves from the debilitating shackles of ongoing connection to old relationships.  I have helped people who have lost lovers through death, betrayal or cheating or the simple ending of a relationship to let go of the hurt and rejection.  I have helped others who have been subjected to very difficult childhood experiences to let go of the parents or other people responsible for their pain so they can move on and be open to healthy sustainable relationships.

    If you are struggling to properly let go of old healthy or unhealthy relationships, or feeling the pain of separation, abandonment or hurt, then you are very welcome to contact me.  I am here to help.

  • You can contact James Jameson on 086 2835758 / 1800924864 or jamesonwicklow@gmail.com

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