• Old Grudges and Damaged Relationships

    So many of us have experienced the difficulty of dealing with people with whom we have a damaged or even broken relationship.  This can involve family members or friends we may have fallen out with, or even people we simply dislike.

    At this time of year, with its tradition of celebration and coming together, these issues can be particularly difficult and indeed many people dread Christmas for this reason.

    However, it need not be that way.  Regardless of the level of hurt and dislike, regardless of resentments you may be holding, it is possible to move into a better way of being.

    The starting point is to work on the issue as it resides within yourself.  Are you willing to look at your own part in damaging or breaking of the relationship, even if you were minimally at fault? Are you willing to take responsibility for it, own up to it, at least to yourself? 

    Opening up to the problem as it exists in yourself creates the possibility of releasing it from your system.  This inner healing helps you to come into balance, to feel better within yourself.  You may even begin to see the humanity in the other person (or even persons).  Thinking about them becomes easier.  You may even get a sense of the very high cost of what may have been a minor hurt or disagreement.

    Very often this is all you need to do.  Over the years that I have worked with clients on these issues, I have seen many instances where within a short period of a client resolving the issue within him or herself the other person contacts them, often after an estrangement of many years.  It is as if one person changing induces an intuitive or unconscious change in the other.  While this does not always happen, it happens often enough to be noteworthy.

    Also, having dealt with the issue within yourself, it opens the way, should you so choose, for you to comfortably approach the other person in a spirit of reconciliation and love with a view to letting go of the past.  Often you find the other person is willing to change also, and even if he or she is not, you are no longer vulnerable to the pain of rejection.  You can move on without the hurt or resentments of the past.

    Taking the difficulty out of these limiting, painful family and relationship situations is not always straightforward.  This is because they may be deeply rooted and ingrained, making them difficult to resolve alone.  This is especially true where there is a sense of injustice or strong negative family traits.

    However, with a willingness to move forward, and help if needed, all kinds of good outcomes become available.  Holding old hurts, grudges and resentments damages you.  It is good to let them go.

    If you are carrying the negative effects of old damaged or broken relationships, or dreading a forthcoming family or other event because a certain person or persons will be there, or if you just want come to terms with a situation within yourself, then feel free to contact me.

    I will be happy to work with you.

    James

  •  You can contact James Jameson on 086 2835758 or jamesonwicklow@gmail.com.  Feel free to spread the word by sharing this article and liking my Facebook page in the panel opposite or below, or by clicking here.  Thank you!